Sunday, November 18, 2007

Dear Jonas...

I have no idea when you will read this for the first time. I don't have to, as the very idea of a blog is to put ones' thoughts out for an unknown audience to read at an unknown time.

It's kind of like the proverbial letter in a bottle, cast into the ocean to be found someday by someone. Of course, with a blog, it's actually an unknown number of bottles to be found by an unknown number of people at unknown times, except that of course the only people that would bother to read a blog such as this one are people that *are* known to us, and who may have a little reminder mailed to them whenever I scratch together enough moments and brain cells to add something. So I guess the metaphor is rather leaky, perhaps it doesn't hold water :-)

Anyway, my dear Bandit, I'm writing to say I'm sorry for getting so mad at you today. You were driving me crazy off and on for most of the day, and part of me felt quite strongly that I didn't deserve it. But, of course, I'm supposed to be the one who knows that it's just your late night with Yano that makes you difficult, not some inherent character flaw which somehow reflects on me, or whatever we parents imagine when our children are pushing our buttons. No, you were just Hungry and/or Tired for much of the day, and you still managed to have a lovely time with Reid and Meiyi (when Dano and I weren't trying to keep you fed and clothed).

But then we both melted down around bath time, and I started yelling, and you were crying. And when Mommy and Tom bailed us out, and she eventually brought you downstairs, and I had enough wherewithal to offer you apple and peanut butter, I discovered that it was as simple as that. You were pretty much back to your happy self within a couple of bites and a couple of minutes, making faces at your brother and asking us questions about things we were talking about.

And, as I know that really it was about how long you two played last night, I think to myself that I want to be better prepared for such meltdowns, because I want to be able to give you free reign for a while, when you are having that much fun with a new friend. Dano said it right when we parted at Atkins after lunch. It was worth doing, but next time I'll have a better plan.

So, who knows when you will read this. Maybe this is more of a time machine than a message in a bottle. Maybe you will read it when you are old enough for it to make sense. Probably I should just print it out and stick it in an envelope for some imagined day when you might have a Bandit of your own.

Sorry, sweet boy. Thank you for your resilience.

Love,
Daddy

P.S. I know Mommy thinks it's littering, but I think it would be kind of fun to put a message in a bottle and throw it in the river like you wanted to do. Maybe we can talk her into it.